Pigs vs. goat

Once upon a time, there was a very naughty little goat named Pearl. She was always going where she wasn't supposed to go. . . .

We were doing chores at sundown when I heard that familiar little "Maa! Maaaaaa!" coming from a not-so-familiar place. I looked toward the sound and saw Pearl running through the pig pen with two pigs chasing after her, snapping at her back end. Jonathan and I ran to the pen, and he was the brave one who jumped in there to save her. He said her tail was bleeding, so I picked her up and without my glasses couldn't see much other than bloody-red hair on the end of her tail. It was an enormous mental challenge to pick her up, since she was covered with pig poo and mud. Just imagine how bad that could be and multiply a few times. Knowing that mud, poop, and a bloody body don't normally make a healthy combination, there was only one option and only one sink big enough to bathe her. Yes, I had to bring her into the house, the laundry room, to be specific.

What was wrong with those grumpy old pigs? Pearl thought there was absolutely nothing wrong with going wherever she wanted to go, perhaps because she had been spoiled rotten as a kid, being raised in the house with the humans instead of in the barn and pasture with the other goats. And although she screamed every time Mama touched her tail because it hurt a lot, her little adventure had landed her back in the human house, which was her favorite place in her whole world, which wasn't very big (but she didn't know that). Her human mama was bathing her with lavender shampoo, and soon she'd smell lovely again. Maybe she'd get to sleep in Katherine's bedroom again, instead of that icky old barn!

My perception of the situation was not so positive. There are some things that you simply never imagine yourself doing -- like bathing a goat covered with mud and pig poo. My coat smelled like a porta-potty and looked like the floor of a porta-potty in the middle of a muddy field. But that's enough about my olfactory pain. Once I had Pearl clean and found my reading glasses, I was able to see what I'd suspected. The tip of her tail was missing. Since I couldn't see a bone, I'm guessing that they just nipped her and bit off skin only, along with some hair, of course. However, I couldn't help but think that it could have been much worse.

It was so great to be back in the human house, thought Pearl. Now that she was all clean, she was lying in Mama's lap on the couch, just like when she was a baby. When Mama got up, Pearl thought it was the perfect time to pee. Mama shrieked and ran upstairs to the laundry room. Pearl bounded up the stairs after her. Are we playing chase? When Mama stopped in the laundry room to grab a towel, Pearl thought it was the perfect time to poop. Why is Mama sighing and rolling her eyes? After Mama picked up the poop with toilet paper and tossed it in the big white bowl, she went downstairs with the towel and wiped up the pee. Then Mama said, "I'm sorry Pearl, but you're not a baby anymore. You have to go back outside with the other goats." And after giving her a hug and a kiss on the forehead, she put Pearl outside.