Friday, December 4, 2009

Pigs vs. goat

Once upon a time, there was a very naughty little goat named Pearl. She was always going where she wasn't supposed to go. . . .

We were doing chores at sundown when I heard that familiar little "Maa! Maaaaaa!" coming from a not-so-familiar place. I looked toward the sound and saw Pearl running through the pig pen with two pigs chasing after her, snapping at her back end. Jonathan and I ran to the pen, and he was the brave one who jumped in there to save her. He said her tail was bleeding, so I picked her up and without my glasses couldn't see much other than bloody-red hair on the end of her tail. It was an enormous mental challenge to pick her up, since she was covered with pig poo and mud. Just imagine how bad that could be and multiply a few times. Knowing that mud, poop, and a bloody body don't normally make a healthy combination, there was only one option and only one sink big enough to bathe her. Yes, I had to bring her into the house, the laundry room, to be specific.

What was wrong with those grumpy old pigs? Pearl thought there was absolutely nothing wrong with going wherever she wanted to go, perhaps because she had been spoiled rotten as a kid, being raised in the house with the humans instead of in the barn and pasture with the other goats. And although she screamed every time Mama touched her tail because it hurt a lot, her little adventure had landed her back in the human house, which was her favorite place in her whole world, which wasn't very big (but she didn't know that). Her human mama was bathing her with lavender shampoo, and soon she'd smell lovely again. Maybe she'd get to sleep in Katherine's bedroom again, instead of that icky old barn!

My perception of the situation was not so positive. There are some things that you simply never imagine yourself doing -- like bathing a goat covered with mud and pig poo. My coat smelled like a porta-potty and looked like the floor of a porta-potty in the middle of a muddy field. But that's enough about my olfactory pain. Once I had Pearl clean and found my reading glasses, I was able to see what I'd suspected. The tip of her tail was missing. Since I couldn't see a bone, I'm guessing that they just nipped her and bit off skin only, along with some hair, of course. However, I couldn't help but think that it could have been much worse.

It was so great to be back in the human house, thought Pearl. Now that she was all clean, she was lying in Mama's lap on the couch, just like when she was a baby. When Mama got up, Pearl thought it was the perfect time to pee. Mama shrieked and ran upstairs to the laundry room. Pearl bounded up the stairs after her. Are we playing chase? When Mama stopped in the laundry room to grab a towel, Pearl thought it was the perfect time to poop. Why is Mama sighing and rolling her eyes? After Mama picked up the poop with toilet paper and tossed it in the big white bowl, she went downstairs with the towel and wiped up the pee. Then Mama said, "I'm sorry Pearl, but you're not a baby anymore. You have to go back outside with the other goats." And after giving her a hug and a kiss on the forehead, she put Pearl outside.

13 comments:

BJ Gingles said...

What a hilarious, horrible episode. Loved the post and the pictures, especially of Pearl being bathed in the laundry sink. There isn't anything much cuter than a goat kid, even covered in pig poo. Glad it wasn't me that had to deal with it though. :-)

Heidi said...

What a great post. I am trying hard not to imagine the muck.

Pearl is too cute, I hope her tail is OK.

Sharrie said...

It seems to me that Pearl must be quite a trial with her mixed up ideas of who she is. I suspect she doesn't want to be a pig after that horrible affair you were all involved in.

Claire said...

Pearl knew that after an exciting blog post featuring Margaret Hathaway, poor Deb would be struggling to find a blog post that would live up to the excitement level of the last one. Pearl knew that only a goat could manage it, and did her goatie best to give an exciting story. What a resounding success! Hooray for Pearl! I think she needs to talk to Margaret's agent!

pedalpower said...

I think Pearl needs to be the lead character in a children's book about life on the farm.

Urbangoatgirl said...

Great story but little Pearl might not be so lucky next time. Ugh! I hope she has learned to stay out of the pig pen!

Anonymous said...

I agree! Loved the post! I also agree Pearl should be the star of the next children's book! The Adventures of Pearl The Goat! LOL

Michelle said...

Now my tummy is in knots worrying about whether there is a "next time" for Pearl. Please, please little goatie, stay out of the pig pen!

Angela Rountree said...

Hmmm... after reading about washing pig poop off in the house, maybe my new barn needs a wash area! Glad that Pearl is relatively unharmed.

SkippyMom said...

::hanging my head in shame::

Isn't Pearl the goat you gifted me by naming after one of my kids?

Oh, um....sorry about that.

Deborah @ Antiquity Oaks said...

Claire -- Thanks for figuring out what Pearl was thinking! You are right, of course. It was going to be tough to come up with an exciting blog post after all the fun we had on here yesterday! I should give Pearl some extra hugs and treats this evening.

Angela -- The frustrating thing is that we do have a sink in both barns, and one even has hot water. Unfortunately, that one has a stopped up drain! My husband has done everything he can to fix it, so after our recent experience, I think it's time to call a plumber!

SkippyMom -- No worries. This wasn't the goat you named. Her goat mama was Scarlet Letter, so she's named after Pearl, the recalcitrant child in the book. I hadn't read the book since college, and I'd completely forgotten about how the child was described.

And for those of you who are worried about next time -- this afternoon my husband was working in the garden and heard her "Maa! Maaaa!" He dropped everything and went running to the pig pen. Luckily, Pearl was not in there, but as you can tell, we're pretty much on edge, since she is small enough to fit through the spaces in the fence. I wasn't kidding when I said she is always going places where she is not supposed to go. I just hope she learned something yesterday!

Sarah said...

Oh my gosh that naughty baby goat!!! I'm glad she's OK, but I'm so sorry she made such a mess! I wish I had adopted her and taken her off your hands when I left. ;) But imagine the havoc she would've wreaked on an airplane!!! haha

Charlotte said...

This post does make me worry about what I have set myself up for. I bottle feed my first 2 does, but my husband wouldn't let me have them in the house. But I go a 1 month old buck and he sleeps in the house in a pet crate, so he won't be lonely. The girls were not nice to him.

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